The past becomes the past when it's passed

The kids found a box of old Sports Illustrated magazines in the attic.  These magazines spanned 30 years, having been gifts from various men in my life.  The swimsuit editions had long been thrown out, but I looked through them again anyway to see if the magazines were age appropriate to pass on to the kids. Those certainly were different times.  There were numerous cigarette ads and even full-page spreads of kids sliding across the backseat of the car in glee because of how quickly the station wagon could take a corner (nary a seatbelt in sight).  The cover stories ranged from betting on baseball to the steroid era to Don King when his hair stood taller than Tyson’s ego.  

I enjoyed reminiscing, remembering athletes before their arraignments and games held in stadiums now turned parking lots.  I also noticed the addresses to which the magazines were sent, spanning 3 of our own addresses and several from the men that gifted them to me. 

So I wondered why I’d kept them.  I guarantee these folks shared their weekly circular with me without thought of becoming my children’s inheritance.  I honestly couldn’t answer why I had kept them. They were in my last house, so I brought them to my new house. Perhaps I thought my kids would sit at my feet and beg me to tell them another story from the good ol’ days as I flipped through the December 19 issue.  Perhaps I thought my kids would take an issue to show and tell for their history class and talk about the old days when people smoked cigarettes and didn’t wear seat belts.  I really didn’t know. 

So I got rid of them.  I had no reason to hold on to the past, so I let it pass.  These stories of doping and cheating, of hearings and strikes are not legacies I want to pass on to my children.

The love of the people that gave me these magazines are the stories I want to pass on.  These magazines no longer serve their purpose of entertainment and education, so it was time for them to go.     

Then I wondered: what else am I holding on to that isn’t serving me anymore.  Are there other stories from the past that need to pass?  To be clear, I’m not a minimalist.  The kids and I have enjoyed going through my old baseball cards, telling stories of my favorite players and the baseball card shows Dad used to take me to.  That’s what I’d imagined and hoped the boxes of cards in the back of my closet would do and continue to do, so I’ll keep them as long as they serve that purpose.  But it was time for the magazines to go.  

Our past doesn’t become the past until we let is pass.  As long as that box of magazines is in my home, it’s the present.  They are not magazines of yesterday, they’re the magazines in my attic today. They needed to become the past.  

Our stories are like that.  Just because it happened, doesn’t mean I have to carry it forward.  I can take the feeling of gratitude forward, just like I have with each of the men that so thoughtfully gave me those magazines, without carrying the baggage any longer.  I was loved as a child and men in my community thought of me.  My parents cared enough about me to pay for a subscription for many years across multiple addresses.  I think I’m going to carry that forward and pass it on to my kids.