I coach my son’s flag football team. It’s fascinating. About a third of the kids are solid athletes that could play up a level. The middle third are good kids whose bodies have outgrown their brain’s ability to control them. The last third are Christmas trees — you might as well decorate them because they’re not really sure what’s going on. This has held true across the sports and ages I’ve coached.

I grew up playing competitive ball, working year-round on drills and physical conditioning. The coaches I played under were good men that believed in pulling out the best in us. One noted that we may not be the most talented team, but we would certainly be the best physically conditioned and most disciplined team on the basketball court. This approach gave me shin splints and conference championships.

I’m grateful for this training. The question from Coach was not if we would work hard, but whether we would do so in discipline or as punishment. The distinction was one of timing and intention.

Discipline is the work in preparation for an event. It’s the physical workouts before a game and the flash cards before the test. It’s the budget planning and envelope management before the end of the month.

By contrast, punishment happens after an event. It’s the sprints for dropping passes and reworking the homework to comply with standards. It’s the calls from creditors and interest payments.

It’s that simple: budget or interest? One happens at the beginning of the month, making choices about where to spend money and not. The other happens at the end of the month, paying interest. Interest is punishment for spending more than you have.

My flag football team doesn’t understand this. The idea of physical conditioning and dropped passes doesn’t compute with a pee-wee 6-on-6 team. They’re chasing butterflies.

But it matters to me. The difference as an adult is that much of my perspective is self-regulated. I can choose.