Life is hard. 

Philosophers have written about this truth for centuries, yet it's a fact that we still struggle to accept.  Richard Rohr notes in Adam's Return that 'life is hard' is one of the core messages that all maturing people need to understand.  I believe Life is Good as the t-shirts suggest, but life is also hard.  Life hurts.  It's painful.  It's sad and disappointing. 

So what do we do?  Life can be overwhelming, literally bringing more than we can handle. Life can break people: our bars, churches and mental institutions are fully people seeking reprieve from all that life brings.

So what do we do?  We work to meet 'hard' head-first or we work to avoid it altogether.  We go to therapy for help interpreting our thoughts.  We go to the gym to work out the stressors of the week.  We go to the football game for an injection of belonging to something bigger than ourselves. We meet the neighbors at the country club to calibrate the stories we tell ourselves about why their driveway has more cars than the car lot on the corner with the wavy arm guy.

We adjust.  We create scaffolding underneath and around us to help lighten the load.  We learn where we need support and lean into one another. 

But what do we do when the scaffolding is knocked out from underneath us?  What do we do when public places are restricted, events cancelled and the company picnic becomes a Zoom call? 

We buck up and muscle through. At least until that gets too heavy.

COVID knocked out the scaffolding in our lives, shutting down much of the supporting infrastructure of our physical and emotional needs.  We're left with little to no time for ourselves, no time with friends, no small group, no pot luck and no 4th quarter rallies. 

As a client of mine notes, COVID lowered the waterline on what was always there.  We've learned what we have grown reliant upon because it's been taken away. 

Some turned to the bottle while some have taken to working out with vim and vigor.  Life abhors a vacuum, so when football season stopped, what filled it?  What role was football playing in your life? What is working to fill the void left every Saturday?  Where are we turning for comfort? Where are you?

Life is not meant to be alone.  We are designed for community, easing the 'hard' and increasing the 'good.'  We live with families and in tribes with others. Movies have better reviews when shown with a full theatre than screenings with empty seats -- laughter is contagious. Bars are full of people because drinks taste better together. Churches are full of people each Sunday because songs are richer sung corporately.

What scaffolding is holding up our hearts?  Is that scaffolding healthy?  Where are we reliant upon others to hold us up?