I walked through the cafeteria at the office this week and saw a colleague watching the news on the shared TV. ‘Anything good?,’ I asked rhetorically. ‘All noise. No news,’ he mumbled as his attention shifted to me. ‘All drama, no governing,’ he continued, shaking his head.

He’s right. It certainly seems like that doesn’t it. The kids came home from school during the last Presidential election quizzing my wife and I as they tried to personalize what they had clearly been discussing at school.

‘Who are you voting for?’
‘What’s a debate?’
‘Why is he so mean?’
‘Why does she talk about him like that. You said it was unkind to talk to people like that.’

Yep. And somehow I think we all lose regardless of who ‘wins.’

How do I explain to my children that the kind of behavior they see in commercials represents our country to the free world? Making the other side smaller is a fool’s game. You don’t get better making the other side worse. Let’s be clear that this indeed applies to our political theater, but also to the sports arena, school playgrounds and church pulpits.

The personal lesson for the kids (and the adults) was clear: making you small does not make me big. This is true of the political aisle and across the dinner table. As a result of the vitriol of the election cycle, I’m more sensitive to how our conversation makes the other person feel. Are my words building him up or tearing him down? Do I address him with respect or disregard? Making the other side more wrong, does not make me more right.

How do we talk to people? How do we talk about people? How do I make us both bigger people?