Security in knowing home

I had an opportunity a few weeks ago to listen to conversation between two former Governors. I was eavesdropping with 2,500 other people at a breakfast event as these gentlemen shared their personal and professional stories. They represented different political parties and different parts of the state. They were political contemporaries, but not direct opponents. Each was, in his own way, revered and vilified by folks in the state. Each man was still involved with his respective political party and still served the State, yet each sought to wrap up their day to go play with grandchildren.

As each shared stories from their past, one of them recalled a particular election as memorable in his marriage. While a seasoned public official, this was the first time he sought a high office — a role that pulled him out of his local zone and his base into a state and, by extension, national light. Reporters wanted to know he and his wife better so they asked her thoughts about his running for office. ‘If that’s what he wants, I’m supportive. If the people don’t want him, they can send him home’.

Here was a woman that knew home; that knew that her home didn’t change whether she was First Lady or lady of the house. She knew that if he won the election, she’d make her famous cobbler to celebrate and if he lost, she’d add an extra scoop of ice cream to the same famous cobbler to console. She knew him and knew that his elected duties didn’t change who he was. She went on to say (according to the former Governor's early morning recollections) ‘He supported his family before politics and he can do it again after.’ She had confidence in who she was, she was grounded in their marriage, their experience together, and in him.

Bob Goff of Love Does fights bad guys across the globe and provides safety and education for conflict zones. Bob is constantly on the move, navigating between headquarters, conflict zones, fundraising events, speaking gigs and his new grandchild’s place. His wife, whom he dubbed ’Sweet Maria’ was questioned one day about where in the world Bob was: ‘On his way home’ she offered. As I heard her tell the story, she literally didn’t know where he was, but that wherever it was, she knew Bob was on his way home.

Earlier in their marriage, Bob went off to fight bad guys and came home to a ‘Help Wanted’ sign in his home window. His wife intended it for him. Bob learned home the hard way. He earned Maria’s confidence that he would come home only after he didn’t.

These stories are stories of knowing ‘home.’ They speak to the security of being grounded in one’s self and in someone else. Both wives sent their husbands out into the world to serve and give and lead. In both cases, these women knew their husbands and knew his role and his heart, not confusing the two. Each also knew who she was independent of her husband and her marriage. This knowing was without a doubt, hard earned.

So I wonder: does my bride expect me to come home? Do my kids know I leave and hope to return? Do my kids hope I return?