Years ago I was changing jobs. I had pursued a number of avenues and narrowed down my choice to two firms. Fortunately, they both also chose me. I had an open conversation with my wife about which one I liked and honestly, I went back and forth favoring the most recent conversation. Each time I spoke with a firm, I debriefed with my bride noting that we didn’t have all of the information yet. Once everything came in, we’d make an informed, balanced decision. I remember telling a mentor that all I wanted was the ability to choose.

After multiple rounds of interviews we had all of the information at hand. The benefits packages were eerily similar, inclusive of holidays, expectations, company parties and the like. Compensation was within .01%. I don’t think I could have written two packages as similar. Their cultures were effectively the same and they were at a similar stage of growth. Everything was the same. I had gotten exactly what I asked for — the ability to choose — and I could not have been more disappointed.

If I’m honest with myself, I really didn’t believe that I’d have options. I thought certainly one would have backed out or been so far off on compensation or days off or something that the decision would effectively make itself.

If I’m really, really honest with myself I was afraid. I was afraid that I’d make the wrong decision and have to live with the consequences. I wanted the firms or the universe or my wife to make the decision.

Ten years later, I’m between options. I’m choosing between a car or a truck. I’m choosing between consulting and going to a company. I’m choosing between a weekend with my buddies and a weekend with the kids.

Again, I find myself wanting the choice to be made for me, but this time is different. I’ve made choices before, including what to eat for lunch today. Here’s why I’m better at it than I was ten years ago:

• I am more comfortable with my decision making ability, knowing where I hesitate and where I need help.

• My bride and I are more honest with one another than we were then. ‘I trust you’ is not a helpful decision criteria, but it is necessary relational grounding.

• I’ve made bad decisions in the past and survived.

• My decisions can be unmade: I can sell the truck or change jobs or get ice cream on the way home.

• I know who I am more clearly than I did then and this decision has far less impact on that than it did years ago.

The decisions are not inherently easier than years ago. In fact, I’d suggest they’re harder: the stakes are higher and the cost of getting it wrong is greater. However, I am more grateful for the wisdom that comes with years of good and bad decisions.