Logging a lot of miles in the minivan with the kids is always an adventure. Whether pushing the gas tank to its limits for fear that stopping to fill up would wake the baby that finally went to sleep or racing to cover miles between potty stops, kids and cars are an interesting mix.

I usually drive so my interactions with the kids are often limited to the voices coming from behind my head. One year, that voice belonged to Alec Baldwin as he narrated a 45-minute Thomas the Train video over and over and over. This was during the stage of childhood development called, ‘Again! Again! AGAAAAIN!!!’ His voice still makes me shudder.

From there, we went through the pre-reading stage where the kids had learned their letters and their logos and began to put the two together, announcing every ‘chick-a-lay’ on the trip. It was cute. Desperate, but cute.

Now, we’ve exited the ‘why?why?why?why?why?’ stage and have not yet started the stage of pre-teen grunting. It’s a good age.

On a recent trip, one of the kids started reading all of the signs. I was reminded of the Billy Crystal movie Forget Paris.

Then I got to wonder: were the kids hungry? Were they thirsty? Were they bored? Did they have to use the bathroom? What was it that the kids were inviting with their observations? They had snacks and drinks and movies and we just stopped, so that couldn’t be it. Then they saw a coffee shop and asked if I needed coffee.

There it was: they were inviting connection. They were fishing for connection like the old man in the Billy Crystal movie. They lobbed the name of a store out to see if anyone would volley back with a memory or a favorite meal or a conversation. They saw the sign with the coffee cup and connected Java Joe’s with me, bridging between the driver’s seat and the back row.

It’s the same reason we holler ‘Go Dawgs!’ or ‘how ‘bout the weather?’ We seek connection and we use an alma mater and a neon coffee cup in the window as a proxy for ‘we’re together.’

So I took my earbuds out and began reminiscing about that one time when he ate the whole burger by himself for the first time. Connection.