Asking something from me & of me

I’ve had the opportunity to work on a number of projects across many organizations.  Some have been for fee and some for free.  In each case, I’ve received something (e.g., compensation, new skills, the opportunity to serve).  In return, they’ve all required me to contribute something. I have been asked for my labor, my skills, my time, and my ability to sweep floors. This is the social contract between an individual and an organization: both want something from the other and both willing to give something to the other.  This is true of nonprofits, churches, big companies, small companies, the government, etc. Anywhere individuals and organizations meet there is some exchange, whether explicit or implied.

Recently, I was reflecting with a friend on how, whether for free or for fee, my experience with organizations has varied wildly. As we talked, we looked for patterns around industry, compensation, role, problem to be solved and a number of variables.  In the end, there seemed to be a distinct difference based on how I was engaged.  

Did the organization demand something from me or did the organization ask something of me? 

I worked for a boss one time that was quite unafraid of asking of things from me.  Her requests were frequent and direct, yet none required anything other than to execute. The ask required only my obedience.  In time, I found myself giving less and less discretionary effort, fetching answers to questions and quickly making changes to PowerPoints only to scurry back for approval.  This was my highest paying job.  My wife and I also taught a class at church one time that similarly asked us to deliver the content someone else provided and turn in the forms at the end.  Neither experience asked something of me.  

I’ve also worked with folks that presented a problem, reminded me of my unique strengths and then went about their business, providing support when needed.  They treated me with the respect of a man that had something to contribute.  These have often my lowest paying jobs.  Perhaps this is why the not-for-profit sector is so popular: given that the number of motivation levers to pull are often limited, managers must find a person’s unique contribution and steward that with care.  Maybe it’s the way that volunteers are cared for that distinguishes experience so much that volunteers often pay for the opportunity to give their time.  

I grew up in the church, stacking and unstacking chairs each Saturday ahead of the quarterly church-wide potluck.  At age 9, I was asked for my strength; something I could contribute that my younger siblings couldn’t (I still pride myself in my ability to carry more folding chairs than my brother).  At 19, the labor increased as those I served with slipped disks and busted hips, relying on my not-yet degenerate lumbar for setup.  At 29, the ask shifted from carrying chairs to carrying babies.  At 39, I wonder. I wonder what’s asked of me?

I do know that whether setting up chairs for broccoli casserole or facilitating a company board meeting, I will need to give something.  The question is whether my contribution will be asked from of or of me?  What I do know is that when things are asked of me, I enjoy the experience more, the outcome is usually better and I and offer my contribution more freely.  The shift is subtle, but everything.  One takes what is needed and the other allows me to give.  The opportunity for leaders (of both businesses, nonprofits and households) is to ask something of stakeholders rather than from resources.