A Professional’s Response
After swapping pleasantries and commentaries on our latest read, Ben and I shifted our introductory conversation toward our careers: how’d we get here, where are we going? It’s a fairly standard discussion in my circles (the standard response to ‘where are we going’ resembles the look of a child when asked about why the dog is now purple — disbelief mixed with guilt — but that’s for another day).
Ben shared the major stops on his career from college to his current role. He was appropriately detailed without being verbose and succinct without being reductionist. His trajectory was up and down, similar to most careers, contrary to the ‘up-and-to-the-right’ ladders modeled in orientation. Right now, he was down. He was honest about his current station and where he wants to be. He was also honest about how he got from ‘up’ to ‘down.’ He used words like ’scandal’ and ‘banned’ and ‘reassigned.’ Turns out, Ben’s boss broke some rules. A lot of them and had to find a new industry.
We shared that experience, sadly. I had a boss once that wasn’t honest and when I tell that story, I find myself using words like ‘illegal’ and ‘unethical’ and ‘under the table.’ Turns out the FBI agrees with me. Both stories can be found online and in court proceedings, but it’s not the same story. They created different levels of turmoil in their wake and impacted Ben and I differently.
I was single, so I quit and went to grad school. Ben was married (and still is) with kids and a mortgage.
I was an individual contributor. Ben led hundreds.
I was 22 and this was my first job. Ben was a 20-year veteran of the industry and has held roles in the top echelon.
I was asked to stay because I was naive and cheap. Ben was reassigned because he wouldn’t get on board with the boss’ ways.
I behaved like a 22-year-old-single-naive-college student. Ben is a professional.
These events have shaped our professional experience and will always do so, teaching us both the value of good leadership while helping us clarify our own values. We both committed to lead in the ways that we weren’t.
And yet as a professional, Ben modeled several mature decisions.
Notably absent from his description was his boss’ name or any self-indignation that he was right. Ben was demoted because he wouldn’t break the rules. He knows this. He knows he was punished for doing the right thing and he knows his demotion is his boss’ fault. And yet he knows that the truth has come to light and that he behaved in a way consistent with his values.
Ben quickly reflected on what he learned and codified further his personal values. The crucible created clarity.
Ben knows his priorities and stacks his effort accordingly. While he has a career, he also has a family. As much as he may want to leave and go back to grad school, his priority is feeding his family and being physically and emotionally available to them.
Ben will find a new career. He will find a place to exercise his talents in a healthy and productive way. He may or may not lead hundreds, but I’d bet both the dollars in my pocket that Ben won’t forget. He won’t forget what he learned and how much of a better leader he is now as a result of his experience.
Thanks for modeling excellence, Ben.