Remission & Gratitude
189. That was the number presented by the doctor today. That was the same number from my wife’s doctor in 2010. I can’t begin to speak to what that number means to either physician that presented them to us, but I can speak to how that number marks moments of a shift toward gratitude.
In 2010, my wife and I stood at the doctor’s office and listened to the lab results. The nurse looked at the numbers and said, with a smirk, “189. You’re definitely pregnant. The question is ‘how many are there’?” Years later, I hear the doctor say, “189. Looks like your disease is in remission. See you in a year’. Both statements presented by the physicians the same way the lady on TV reads the lottery numbers. To them, 189 is just a number. It’s not 100 or 3,000, but 189. To me, 189 is perspective — it’s gratitude.
As I think about that number, I don’t really get a sense of its meaning until I look at where it came from and where it’s going. For my wife, we watched the number double the day after and double again the day after that, declaring with great panache, her pregnancy. By contrast, I’ve watched my indicators peak at ranges up to 30x today’s magic number, rising with it, my stress and anxiety.
The difference between 189 and 3,000 is gratitude. Gratitude…
That the difference between 189 in 2010 and 2016 is a different man.
That 189 in 2010 and 2016 is held true by the same God — a God of healing and a God with a sense of humor
That while 189 is a number to the clinicians, they care about my wife and I as people
That while I did nothing to raise my number from 189 to 3,000, I also did nothing to send it to remission
That the same men that stood with me in healing prayer in 2010 stood with me in celebration and worship in 2016
That the bride by my side in 2010, stands with me in 2016
I’m grateful today for 189 and for the God that is true at 189 and 3,000.